I don't know what to do with myself anymore. 

I feel like everyday the torture in my head just gets worse and worse and I feel lonelier, and sadder and uglier, and purely defeated. I'm losing the battle inside my head and no amount of therapy or medication will ever make me happy. 

I don't if it's possible to make me happy at this point. I wish I could just give up and let it all go sometimes but then I look at my mom, my dad, my brother and I just know I can't do it to them. 

Everyday I just tell myself; just a few more days, just a few more weeks, a few more years and I'll be better. I want to be better, I want to be happy. 

I'm just so empty.