A month has passed, and every second of it dragged. December has become the longest month of my life. 31 days stretched out into an infinity of nothing. Because nothing is what I feel, and when I feel something, i regret feeling anything at all. Because it pains me. It shatters me into a million fucking puzzle pieces that don't fit together. So you force them into places where they don't belong and end up with something ugly, something foolish. Because I'm such a fucking fool. I'm a clown for being so hung up on someone who has no consideration for anyone but himself. I wonder sometimes is this karma? Didn't I get enough karma in my life. Do i really have to sink lower than the lowest to pay for how I've handled love the past? Why doesn't karma come back to you? I need a break from fuckboys and assholes and direct my attention to someone that cares. but who cares?